Forgiveness
What a crazy ass week!! Some girl locked herself in our bathroom today at work. And she couldn’t figure out how to unlock it to get out. So she started to freak the fuck out & scream for her boyfriend. I almost fell out of my chair laughing. But I really needed that laugh after 40 some crazy hours doing paperwork & answering the phone & dealing w/ old people who can’t hear you unless you scream at them. I never knew how tiring this would be!!
I’m so sad for my sister with her situation right now. A lot of things have come into light recently & I’m trying so hard to be there for her but it’s hard. And it frustrates me when she says she will come see me and never does. I drive an hour to see my family. Between gas & the mileage on vehicles & the time to get there it’s exhausting sometimes. But I love them & can’t imagine my life without them.[especially jenna] So I go. And me being here is not a good enough reason for Crystal to say she can’t make it. Because when I lived in Luna Pier she never came to visit. And then there were two other apartments I had that she only managed to come to Once at each place. And it’s shitty I think. Because what I really wanted all those years was just to be close to her. But it never happened. Then I find out some crazy shit here recently & suddenly she wants my forgiveness. And I can do that. I will do that for her. But I want to see a difference. If I’m supposed to forgive her for never being there for me. For closing the door in my face back then….I want to see a change & I want to see it now. I don’t think that’s a whole lot to ask for.
